Carley Conder    Photo by Ed Flores

Rebecca Lazier

There is more balance but less time. It is rejuvenating to be absorbed in my children — playing with them, talking about the world, taking them to performances, watching them make choices. Conversely, it makes my time in the studio and working on projects more precious. Being a parent enables me to be more clear about my priorities in life in general. It is hard to stop tracking emails and thinking about what needs to be done when I am with my children, but I strive to keep work time separate. This means I have less time to rehearse, or promote my work, or read all of the latest research in the field, or attend every performance I would like to see. But if that was all I was doing and didn’t have children I think I would drive myself crazy and never stop with my lists! Children help me make sense of the world around me and myself and these realizations profoundly influence my art-making. My children have taught me to suspend judgment, to notice the details, and to truly be in the moment. So if now it takes me four years to have a season in New York instead of 2, it is okay. I have the gift of perspective.

Dawn Karlovsky

I try to arrange my work or rehearsal schedule so that most of these activities take place in the daytime while my children are in school. I usually have one very long rehearsal on Sundays, but I try not to do too much on weeknights so that I can be at home with my children. I savor these times together because their childhood years pass so fast! Performance weeks can be really hard on the family since I’m generally out every day and night for the week leading up to a show. My husband is pretty awesome and takes over all the nighttime and weekend schedules while I’m out. My in-laws don’t live too far away either, so if they are in town, they help out too. 

Sara Rudner

In my 40s: I married, for the second time, and had a child, Edward Eli Marschner. Raising Eli was perhaps the single most important event that helped me redefine my focus and values. I finally saw winter, spring, summer and fall in the playground, on my knees in the sandbox. I did not dance publicly for five years until 1990 until Wendy Rogers invited me to make a dance with her for presentation by Danspace Project. During this decade I also worked with Dana Reitz and Jennifer Tipton on creating “Necessary Weather;” danced in a revival of “Deuce Coupe;” I continued exploring the potential of “HeartBeat;” and made a series of solos for other dancers as well as group dances. At the end of this decade it became clear that my injuries needed serious attention.

Carley Conder

What a challenge. I have three children and a very loving husband. Each year, I have to re-evaluate what I am committing to and make sure it makes sense with the family. If things are rough at home, it is totally not worth it to me to push harder on the dance end of things. I had my first child at 30 and found it incredibly difficult to make the shift from devoting almost all my time to dance to full-time mom. I slowly got better at getting very efficient with free time … during naps I would give myself a ballet barre in my kitchen; I would bring the baby the gym and choreograph in the racquetball courts. I don't mess around when I have even 20 minutes to do some work; I get direct with what I need from other people. It is still a constant negotiation. It was my choice to have three children. I knew it would impact my career as a dancer and artist. But I wouldn't trade the experiences of motherhood for anything that dance could have provided.

Alexandra Beller

Becoming a parent has shifted everything, as I believe it should. Depending on my mood, I'd characterize things as sacrifices, opportunities, gifts, stressors, etc, but there is no comparison to the life before and the life after.

Here are some of the things I love about the combination:

-Once I had kids, no event in my art life could seem that dire. The tech is not working for the show? Dancer sprained an ankle? They suck. But once you have stayed up all night with a sick baby, or worried that the fever was the beginning of meningitis, nothing seems that deep. I love having that perspective. Because ultimately, come on… It’s a dance piece, not world peace.

-Feeling that my nurturing gene was turned up a notch and I was better able to care for my students, dancers, etc.

-Coming home from rehearsal and NOT being able to continue thinking about the piece.

Here are things that I hate about the combination:

-Coming home from rehearsal and NOT being able to continue thinking about the piece.

-Having no time to just do nothing, hear nothing, see nothing, to have the piece form in my mind. I used to just sit quietly. There’s really no more sitting quietly anymore.

-Being able to take jobs without thinking about anyone else. I was recently offered a month long gig in Senegal to make a piece on a group of female dancers, many of them mothers. Good lord, that sounded great. But, when I really thought it through, I just couldn’t swing it. I could have, of course, but I didn’t want to.

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