Some Background
Dance Department Chair, Santa Ana College, 3.3 years
Professor of Dance, Santa Ana College, 14 years
Adjunct faculty, Santa Ana College, 2.6 years
Student of Santa Ana College, 5 years
(Clearly I’m making fun and vexing over my life spent at SAC! Maybe I really LOVE this place?! Maybe I really need a BREAK?! Maybe it’s the pre-production STRESS trying to lighten things up?!)
Wife to husband, 24.3 years
Mother of son, 10.11 years
“Cat Mom” to mama cat and her 3 boys, 4.6 years
Menopause dupe – the first official year of many
(Maybe I’m actually surprised of my commitments to my career, marriage, and family! NAH! I think it’s my delusional state of pre-production stress! Can I blame any of this on menopause?)
This is not my typical work week with curriculum, workforce council, and dept. chair meetings. This is, instead, nearing the end of the semester with 3 weeks left, and I’m heading into pre-production tech week and final exams. We are producing a first-time, holiday themed, “feel good” dance concert with each dance incorporating the use of giant boxes…not our usual stuff, and so I’m feeling exceptionally alienated and out of my comfort zone. “GOOD!” shouts my fearless alter ego! “This is where you either become the SUPER CREATIVE HERO or get your @$$ kicked!”
Sunday, 11/26
5:30a – My eyes are wide open and my brain is RACING with my “To Do List." Kakapoopoo! It’s Sunday! Go back to sleep!
7a – COFFEE…my day must begin with coffee. I know it’s a bad habit, but it is what it is.
7-9:15a – Casually hang out with hubby and son, coffee and iPad, while my “To Do List” stubbornly waits.
9:30-10:45a – Church; I just learned that today marks the “last day” of the “church calendar,” coining the phrase, “It is DONE,” and now the “new year” begins…hmmm. I sit and ponder over this idea, close my eyes and tune in to my rambling thoughts… cycles and rituals…spiritual renewal and cleansing…cleansing sounds good, considering that my body is recovering from Thanksgiving consumption…CONSUMPTION… Black Friday and Cyber Monday…I refuse to be a part of this ritual, BUT what a great opportunity to buy costumes for the concert?!?! … Christmas is already here, but I’m still in Thanksgiving mode…my eyes open…the pastor is rushing Eucharist! He has no soulful connection! What’s the RUSH?!?! Slow down and BE STILL! This is MY most SACRED moment…while my To Do List stubbornly waits.
10:50-11:15a – Head home, grab a quick bite of more turkey…still yummy, which surprises me.
11:15-11:30a – Head out to SAC. YES! I must go to work. I know it’s Sunday, but it’s production time!
11:30a-4:30p – Meet and work with colleague on video project for the concert; pull costume possibilities from storage (I am NEVER this late with organizing costumes; I’ll blame it on menopause).
4:30-4:43p – Drive home, only 13-30 minutes away, depending on traffic.
5:15-7:15p – Head out with hubby and son to downtown Orange to meet local cousins and out-of-town uncle who is visiting for the next 3 days; Mexican grub, cervezas, and conversations.
7:30p – We are home and gather in our furry family for the night…coyotes thrive in our suburb community. My husband picks up one of them and he growls and cries. DARN IT! There’s a tuft of hair pulled out of his shoulder. The neighboring Siamese loves to bully my guys and Levy’s been targeted…AGAIN within 2 ½ weeks. My husband is pissed and makes unrealistic threats while I claim that a water hose is the most humane approach.
7:30-8p – I turn into VET-mode, assessing the damage, giving him a pain pill from his last vet visit, and hoping that his previous antibiotics are still lingering within his system to cover for this new war wound…crossing paws and fingers.
8pm – I am tired and ready for bed…”WHAT?!” cries out my son. I know it’s EARLY, but by the time I ready myself and snuggle into bed, finish reading emails, online register my son for soccer tryouts, call and talk to my mom (she just finished her 3rd round of chemo for ovarian cancer, and so I wanted to know how Thanksgiving went. She lives in Maui.), it’s now 10pm. LIGHTS OUT for this lady!
Monday, 11/27
4:14a – My eyes are wide open and my brain is RACING with my “To Do List." Kakapoopoo! It’s 4:14am! My alarm is set for 5:45. Go back to sleep! 20 minutes later, I get up. I might as well start “recollecting” what I did yesterday for this article, for my friend, Jill, because in a few more hours I won’t remember! I’ll blame my memory loss on menopause.
4:40a – COFFEE…my day must begin with coffee. I start recalling yesterday’s events to begin journaling, MY WEEK.
5:30a – I’m hearing interspersed raindrops. What a beautiful sound! We can use every bit of moisture that the skies give us as southern California is dry, withered, and worn out. I walk outside to take it in. One of the furry boys wants to play. He, too, is WIDE AWAKE! I question if it’s a good time to let him out since coyotes don’t typically hunt on a rainy day? Maybe because cats don’t like rainy days either?! You think?!
6:54a – WOW! Where did the time go? It’s time to stop journaling and wake up my son, make a fresh pot of coffee for hubby, get breakfast going, and start my email rituals, but first, I’ve gotta book a Santa Clause for the dance concert…NOW!
7:45a – WOW! Where did the time go? Emails took over and I still didn’t book Santa. I’ll do it after I take my son to school.
7:50-8:05a – Take son and neighbor to school drop-off.
8:10a-12p – Book SANTA! I decided that my email flow-mode was flowing, and so I decided to work for a few hours from home before heading to SAC. One of the emails was GOOD NEWS! The SAC Foundation approved my grant proposal to sponsor and purchase 1,000 student tickets for “give-away gifts” for our holiday dance concert. Yipee! Made some online costumes purchases as well, but not sure if I got a cyber deal?
12-12:40p – Shower, get dressed, blow dry and curl hair (I only do this if I’m seeing someone important!), head to SAC.
1p – Meeting with Academic Dean for peer evaluations; WOW, only 10 minutes! And I curled my hair…GEESH!
1:15-2:30 – I’m FINALLY in my office; emails, phone calls, production to do’s, rehearsal prep.
2:35-4:35p – Rehearsal with silly looking, but hopefully, fun costumes. I took a BIG RISK and decided to choreograph a bunch of toys coming alive to the Nutcracker Suite. Characters: Barbie, Puppet w/ twin handler wearing identical Christmas clothing, Lighted Angel, Kylo Ren, Cat (I honestly was trying to create the typical "puppy for Christmas," but Halloween costume sales only had a cat…but, OF COURSE!) and finally, a Starbucks gift card. I think I’m CRAZY choreographing this and remind myself, “This is where you either become the SUPER CREATIVE HERO or get your @$$ kicked!”
4:35-5:15p – Clean up rehearsal props, discuss production details with students and colleague.
5:15-5:35p – Drive to son’s school to pick him up.
5:35-6:00p – Drive home, get his soccer gear, drive to soccer tryouts, drop him off.
6:05-7:25p – Drive to fabric store and meet our SAC costume technician to buy different material for angel costume.
7:25-7:50p – Drive back to soccer tryouts, pick up son, head back home.
7:50-10p – Dinner, homework with son, dinner cleanup, 2 ½ hours working on turkey soup broth, head to bed, write down notes on my phone for this journal…I can’t remember what I did a few hours ago…I fell asleep at "4:35p" journal entry.
Tuesday, 11/28
4:45a – Whoa! I’m tired. Reset my alarm for 5:45.
5:45a – Whoa! That hour went FAST! Do I have to get up?
6:15a – I finally make my way out of bed. I want to hibernate, but the day is already well on its way without me. It’s COFFEE time.
6:15-7:30a – Recall yesterday’s events and journal, wake my son up, grab my school stuff and head out. My husband had the car already started for me as he knew my mind was preoccupied.
7:30-8a – Traffic was busy, 30 minute drive to SAC….snarky sarcasm!
8-10:25a – Choreography class: I lead my class into their assignment as they continue their process for their final exam choreographic projects. I work on emails and costume purchases, while I keep my eye on the students, giving feedback along the way. I’m also planning what needs to be done for my rehearsal today with a different dance. I’ve only rehearsed 4 times with this dance, as my typical curriculum and dept. chair meetings take precedence over my rehearsals and have had major impact on the rehearsal process. The dance moves in, out, around, and on top of 9 very large boxes, 7 ft. long. My dancers are feeling the stress as we haven’t finished setting the choreography on the boxes, nor have we rehearsed to any music yet, and the first tech rehearsal is this Saturday. WOW! I’m going to get my @$$ kicked today if I’m not prepared.
10:25-10:40a – Quick chat with students as they transition from one class to the next.
10:40a-12:35p – Modern dance class: Today I had planned to have one of my students lead all of us into a discussion and writing assignment based on 4 main concepts in presenting a 90-second “personalized commercial” for a job interview. She is an older student who is a business corporate consultant specializing in the interviewing process. What an AMAZING lecture and presentation! Valuable information!
12:35-1:30 – Head over to Target to costume shop.
1:30-2:30 – Head back to the office to work on emails, production check-off list.
2:35-4:35 – Rehearsal on the boxes. This went fairly well considering the minimal time spent with creating the work. The main structure is there. One more hour would have been nice, but I’ll manage.
4:40-5:15 – Clean up rehearsal props, gather stuff and head back to office for a quick write up and print out of concert show order; post it on the bulletin board.
5:15-6:00p – Drive to my son’s school to pick him up, head home, get his soccer gear, drive to soccer tryouts, and drop him off.
6-7:30p – Stay at the soccer tryouts and sit in car while reviewing box choreography with new music on iMovie.
7:30-10p – Drive home from soccer tryouts. My husband finished the turkey soup for dinner; it’ salty, but still yummy. I do dinner cleanup, homework with son, write down notes for this journal, and get ready for bed. I’m deciding if I should write down notes and To Do List for tomorrow’s day. Hmm? I think I’m going to bed instead.
Wednesday, 11/29
4:45a – Alarm goes off; I get out of bed at 5:15; COFFEE as usual, but just know, I DO DRINK WATER!!
5:15-7a – Type out To Do List, read & respond to emails, research names/contact info for “give-away tickets," journal.
7a-7:50a – Morning ritual with waking up son, breakfast, school prep. I also decide to squeeze in a few minutes to pay for a parking ticket online. 15-20 frustrating minutes later of online mayhem, automated voice support, and then finally getting a hold of a REAL TALKING VOICE, I find out that the parking citation system doesn’t have my citation # recorded yet because the police officer hasn’t turned it in!
7:50-8:10a – Drive son to school and return home for pulling myself together.
8:10-10a – More emails and finish contact list. I’m trying to get a hold of our box office manager to organize the special codes for online “give-away tickets," but she isn’t returning my emails or phone calls. I’m debating to call her cell#; my other debate, to curl or not to curl hair? I have another meeting with the Academic Dean to discuss peer evaluation. I’m assuming it’s going to be another very short meeting. I’d rather be in my usual comfy sweats and a pony tail, but it’s the Dean…SIGH.
10-10:15a – Drive to SAC and meet one of three new instructors that I’ve set an appointment with our acting FPA Dean. There isn’t any parking, DARN IT!
10:25-11:35a – Meet FPA Dean for interviews with the 3 new instructors whom I want to hire for next semester. These were back-to-back meetings. It was a fascinating experience to listen to these individuals, articulating their ideas about their art form, teaching styles, dance in the academia setting, and student engagement and assessment. This was fascinating because just YESTERDAY, I had learned about the 4 main components of presenting a personalized commercial in an interview setting. WOW! I left the office thinking that yesterday’s lecture presentation would have been very helpful for these individuals, prior to meeting and interviewing with the Dean…just saying.
11:40-1:30p – Lunch with theater lighting designer as we discuss show order, details of each dance, scenic elements, scenery changes, and other this and that’s.
1:30-2:30p – Run around campus for this and that’s. I’m still trying to track down our box office manager, but with no success. This is making me very nervous. I need to get the special codes on our Vendini system up and running.
2:30-4:30p – Watch another colleague’s rehearsal for feedback, costume ideas, and how she uses the BIG BOXES. Some of her dancers cross over into my dance and we hadn’t worked that transition out yet. She’s choreographing a snowflake fantasy scene with snow falling, which makes our lighting designer sigh heavily every time I mention it.
4:40-5:45p – Head out to the mall and start shopping for “snowflake fantasy."
5:50-9p – Pick up dinner, do homework with son, watch an episode of “Treehouse Masters," go to bed and reflect on the day. Fall asleep at 10.
Thursday, 11/30
5:15-7:15a – The usual morning routine; coffee, journal, emails, review To Do List, wake up son, breakfast, prepare for school. A surprise addition to this routine, while journaling, my mind ventured into the vortex of Laban’s Spatial Matrix and Space Harmony Theories. I can’t recall how my mind slipped in and out, but I do remember feeling the sensation of a cosmic transportation, or something like that! Maybe it was my second cup of coffee? Menopause hot flashes are ruled out, but loss of memory and “fogginess” could be at play.
7:30-8a – Drive to SAC.
8-10:25a – Choreography class. The students are working on their final exam projects. I observe, take notes, and give feedback, while also working on emails and production check-off list.
10:40-12:30p – Modern class. No dancing today as I decide 2 things: 1) to continue the conversation of writing and presenting the 90 second personalized commercial; 2) work with my cast and finish setting the dance on the BIG BOXES. The decision served its purpose well.
12:40-1:45p – Head over to FPA division office and meet with box office manager; work on production promotions; brief conversation with the FPA Dean.
1:50p – Run over to Printing office to pick up posters. They have not arrived!! HOLY KAKAPOOPOO! The concert opens in a week and they’re still not done?
1:50-2:30p – Pull more potential costumes from storage. (All of our costumes have been relocated to the gym loft. It’s a lot of work to haul them up and down the stairs, BUT it beats where they previously lived, which was in an old shipping container with holes in the roof that leaked every time it rained!)
2:35-4:45p – Watch a colleague’s rehearsal and start building costumes for the dance. (We no longer have a costume designer since the budget cuts and so I have taken over that job. We do have a costume technician with limited working hours and so I’m mindful of when to use her support.)
4:50-5:15p – Pick up son from school and head home.
5:20-9p – Soccer practice has been cancelled and my son doesn’t have any homework! WHOOHOO! We decide to enjoy our evening together with left-over turkey soup, while snuggling on the couch and watching Despicable Me. I also add a glass of wine to my palette. Momma is HAPPY!
9:15p – Bedtime ritual. I review my production notes and double-check the theater schedule. I immediately go into PANIC MODE because I see that there is a theater performance scheduled for the weekend in the black box theater with a Sunday matinee that overlaps and conflicts with our tech rehearsal. This is an issue because volume from the main stage theater and black-box theater can be heard between the walls. This also means we have 2 separate casts, approximately 50 students, who are sharing dressing rooms and the costume shop. This is going to be MAHEM! Panic kicks in followed by a flurry of emotions and questions. How did I miss this? Did I FORGET a very important detail? Is my “forgetfulness” really an issue that I’m not addressing? How could I have done this? Maybe I’m reading the schedule incorrectly? Maybe it’s a misprint? If it’s not a misprint, then something else is going on that I’m clearly not aware of. If this is an oversight and not my fault, then someone else dropped the ball? OR…..Someone didn’t drop the ball, and approved of this schedule without informing me. I am angry, paired with self-doubt and lack of confidence in my abilities as concert producer. What started as a relaxing evening has now turned into a sleepless night filled with anxiety.
Friday, December 1
4:15a – My alarm goes off, and I can barely open my eyes. I worried myself to sleep, and now I can’t wake up from my self-inflicted trauma.
5:45-7a – I finally make my way out of bed, grab my coffee, journal, and then send an email to VIP’s who need to notified of the scheduling overlap of events.
7-8:15a – Morning ritual with waking up son, breakfast, drive son to school, return home.
8:15-9:45a – I go into detective mode to research all previous emails, to find the missing link of communication. I find it. It was a conversation between the FPS Dean and Theater Chair, without notifying me of the scheduling changes. I put myself in “time out." I can’t talk to anyone. I need to stay focused on production.
9:45-11a – Drive to SAC, pull more costumes to prep for next rehearsal.
11-1p – Pick up lunch, go to son’s school for lunch duty.
1-3p – Shop for costumes, return to SAC.
3-5:30p – Build costumes for colleague’s rehearsal.
5:35-6p – Pick up son, head home.
6-7p – Quick dinner, more emails.
7:15-9p – Head over to neighbor’s Christmas party. I do my best to be “present," but concert production is HEAVY in the forefront of my mind.
9-12p – Head home, get son ready for bed, emails, production prep.
Saturday, December 2
4-7a – Head to SAC and start my production tech with costumes; colleague joins me at 7a; students shortly arrive to help.
8a-5p – Production Tech.
5-6p – Clean up, make another To Do List.
6-9p – More costume shopping at different stores.
9-10p – Home, late dinner, get to bed.
Sunday, December 3
5-7a – Head to SAC and start my production tech with costumes; colleague joins me at 7a; students shortly arrive.
7a-5p – Production Tech
5:03-5:15p – Drive QUICKLY to son’s Christmas “Lighting of the Trees” celebration in downtown Old Orange Plaza; 3,000 people and I make my way through the crowds to run all the way to the bleachers and give my son a BIG WAVE and “BEUOOP!” (our special call). Momma made it to his performance just in the nick of time!
5:15-6:15p – Christmas performance, grab son for a BIG SQUEEZE and KISS, drive back to SAC to finish the mess I made from the costume tech rehearsal.
6:30-10p – Work in the theater to clean up, re-organize costumes, make notes, and call colleague to review our production notes for next day tech.
10:10-11:15p – Head home and decompress with a half shot of Grand Marnier. The concert opens in 4 days. There’s much to do. This was MY WEEK.
—-
Related posts:
Pamela Vail of Franklin and Marshall College
Nina Haft of Cal State University East Bay
—————-
Life as a Modern Dancer 
Leave a comment