An Honest Outlook:
Are there two different experiences?

Interview by Camryn Eaglin

The second interview in our Black Dancers in Higher Education Series is one filled with an authentic and critical perspective that needs to be shared. We have opted to keep this interviewee and the university anonymous, being in the best interest of candidly sharing these answers. We hope that readers, students, and educators can reflect upon their own department and their own lives and experiences through this honest and unfiltered lens. An individual's story can offer validation to others and give a voice to those who may not have one. I deeply thank the interviewee for their openness to share because I know it is not easy.

Hopefully this interview can be a call for change. There is a call to action for institutions and dance departments to listen to their students, value them, and truly look at how their own culture of higher education particularly affects their black students. 

The interview questions are in bold and the interviewee’s answers are directly below.

—-

Camryn Eaglin (CE): Why did you want to pursue a higher education in dance?

I wanted to pursue a higher education in dance specifically because I wanted to gain more in-depth knowledge of my craft so that I could have all the tools to sustain a successful career as an artist post graduation.

CE: What dance classes are you required to take and what other dance courses are available? 

We are required to take ballet, modern, African, choreography, improvisation, Pilates, dance history, kinesiology,  production, movement analysis, and  pedagogy; as well as other academic classes.

The other classes that are offered as far as dance are tap, hip hop, salsa, musical theatre and pointe. I do like the variety of dance offered but I just wish the students had more control over what they were required to take.

CE: Are your dance concerts well-rounded in style? Or does your department have a very specific lane?

Many of our concerts have been filled with all of the same styles of dance, which is typically post modern slash improvisation I would say.

CE: Does your department explore and help facilitate conversation or art about social issues like racial inequality, gender, body image, etc.?

Since I have been a student in my department, I have not been a part nor heard of any facilitated conversations about racial inequality, body image and or any other social issues. There has recently, since I have been a student, a guest artist that did a dance pertaining to a racial issue. But that was the only thing that has ever brought up any type of social issue that should be addressed. Other than that, there has been no work, no art, or conversations facilitated around these subjects.

CE: What is the environment like in your department? How is the department culture in general? Whether that be how students interact or the student-teacher interactions.

The department is very divided in my opinion. There are a lot of students but there is not a lot of interaction between students as far as different grade levels and even different races. I feel like the students are very cliqued up into groups and this is partly because of the faculty having favorites; and also setting an example for the incoming students on how to treat everyone else. Yeah, I feel like on the outside we try to seem like a family; but there is not a lot of care or thought that goes into how our actions affect other students. 

CE: Do you feel supported by faculty? Do you have an advisor or mentor in the program and is the person BIPOC?

I personally do feel supported by most of the faculty…by MOST of the faculty. Just because there have been a lot of things I have secretly dealt with that have been supported by the faculty. I would be in denial if I said, I don’t have some type of special treatment because of my willingness to help the department and me being the face of diversity for the department. Also being one of the talent scholars that are both personable and you could say in a good academic standing. So, I  think I do  have a heads up on that as far as being supported by faculty. But everyone does not feel supported and this is something that I know and have witnessed as far as other students. 

I do not have a mentor but I do have a faculty member that I feel safe talking to and she is black.

CE: Has there ever been a time you felt alienated or different from other dancers in your department?

Yes, I have felt different from most dancers and faculty in the department, specifically white. There have been times where there was a clear segregation of black students. There were other times where I felt unsafe based off of what my peers have said negatively about black students behind closed doors. There have been times I have been called another black girl's name that I look nothing like. There are just a lot of things that contribute to why the department has a negative reputation with diversity and how they treat black students. And this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the racist things that go on in the department and have been going on for years.

CE: Overall, how has your experience been thus far in your particular department?

My experience has been bittersweet because although I have been extremely fortunate to be seen and nurtured as an all-around artist, I have also witnessed a lot of my peers be mistreated, neglected, and racially profiled. This does not mean that I have not experienced this as well because all black students experience the microaggressions from both students and faculty. I believe that college can be something that you mold into its own experience. I think I was better than most at molding my experience how I wanted it to be because I was paying for this education and I felt it was my job to make the most out of it. But for a lot of students they get lost in the sauce or they are so neglected and not nurtured by students and faculty around them, that they have no ability to grow and blossom in this environment. I think that’s the bittersweet part about it.

I have found a way to live through the dysfunction and live through the horrible things that go on through the department, but a lot of my peers have not been able to do that. It’s really disheartening to know that black students don’t have a place where they feel nurtured and where they can be respected as people. As black women, as black people period; we have ideology that we’re magical and that we are super resilient. I think this can send mixed messages because we are also told we’re not human beings and that this is in place of your humanity. I think my experience was good and bad but as far as me personally, I would say my experience is good. As far as what I got out of it and what I went to get, I think I got that and way way more so I’m blessed for that.

CE: What are some of your goals in the future or post graduation? 

My goals after graduation is for one, to sign to a talent agency and audition for a black dance company virtually. I also want to continue to explore the different realms of dance whether it be performing, choreographing, artistic directing or even teaching. One of my biggest goals is to star in a Broadway production. Ultimately, I want to own an arts center for lower income children to be nurtured and exposed to all styles of not only dance, but art overall at a young age.

Camryn Eaglin is a dancer and writer earning a Bachelor of Science in Dance and a minor in Broadcast Journalism from Wayne State University. She is currently an intern with Life as a Modern Dancer.

—-

Related posts:

An Interview With Brooke Taylor: Dialogue for Change and Understanding (Black Dancers in Higher Education Series, Interview 1)

5 Questions for Camryn Eaglin, Life as a Modern Dancer Intern

Organization Spotlight: C.A.A.C (Collegiate Association for Artists of Color)

———-